What's Real is Real

Good Golly Moses... it's been a year and a half since I wrote a blog. Well, ugh. Where, did I, a writer, get off the writing-for-pure-pleasure path and begin to look at the keyboard as cursed with responsibility? I'll tell you where. I got off in grad school. It's not pretty when you have to admit that the very thing that should inspire you actually muzzles your creativity.

I love God and am privileged to study theology at a Spirit-filled seminary. But, my spirit misses the Spirit-ual experience it used to be to write words that felt like musical scores to my soul. Most of the writing I do - but have ceased to do well or on time - is composed of required responses in my online class and term papers that may come close to completing what the prof asked for... but increasingly leave me bereft of any other feeling than relief that I managed to eke out something that will allow me to pass a particular class. And yes, I know the previous sentence is a run-on, journalistic nightmare... but hey, it's my party, uh, blog and I can cry, uh, espouse if I want to. Lol. ;)

Seriously, I'm only writing this blog tonight because I realized I committed with my friend Kate Hinson --"The Quirky Redhead" area of the blogosphere -- to write a blog last week... and well, it's already this week. Ahem.

I'm sitting dressed in stupidly skimpy shorts and a tank top with my hair clipped up and my windows open trying to find it in me to actually assimilate the material I'm supposed to read and respond to for my OT online class by midnight tonight. Four hours to go and my motivation is only energized by my desire not to have to retake this class because I flunked it by not completing it. Been there. Done that. Would choose not to repeat that experience any more than I have to.

Meanwhile, my neck is tight, my right knee hurts and my left shin and ankle are decorated with multiple purple, blue and green bruises, so I'm feeling dandy, lemme tell ya. Then, just as I put on my mental boxing gloves to begin the perpetual fight against angst and aggravation, a stillness comes into my knee shaking soul. My mind slows, my breathing deepens and my emotions find a rest in the reality that...

The Spirit is whispering in my ear, "I Am here."