The Attention Dimension a.k.a. Happy Brain

I have a hard time concentrating. Don’t know about you, but I get restless reading the same type of information for more than 30 minutes or so…. Unless it is a novel, and then I can read all night. My mom will attest to this. She’d find me under the covers with a flashlight on a school night if I had not finished a fiction story when I was a schoolgirl. I’ve literally lost 2-3 nights of sleep reading a mega book given to me by a friend. Hence, why I seldom choose to have big books of fiction on my shelves. They tempt me too much. I must avoid their allure if I want my beauty rest.

But back to the restlessness issue, better put… my attention dimension. Yes, I know that if I had been going through grade school in recent years, I would have been the poster child for some sort of attention-deficit-hyper-something-or-another label. Even now, I refuse to call it a disorder. I can be very orderly in my thoughts… they just have a creative order that confuses most other people.

I remember a boss who told me that ADHD was a gift. This was the same boss who created a dysfunctional working environment shrouded in friendliness but lacking in trust… but hey, everyone has their flaws. (see, there’s one of mine: incorrect noun and verb agreement). This boss’ comment about “giftedness” resonated, so I hold onto it midst the myriad of thoughts that race into my brain in any given time frame. When I talk, stream-of-consciousness becomes an art form. It’s a good thing I have people in my life who appreciate (or can put up with) that kind of art.

So while I’m in graduate school, I’m finding out the depth of the dimension of my attention. That translates to: it is so flippin’ hard to stay focused on one topic for a long period of time no matter how much I love the topic. (and I do Really Like the subject matter I’m studying). So would that mean that I have shallow depth? Could be, but I’m inclined to think there’s much depth in my brain… it just has to be handled like a ocean diver who doesn’t come up fast from a really deep sea swim without getting the bends, as I think they’re called.

My brain has reverse bends. While diving down into new material or reviewing old material, I can only go so far so fast, without getting the bends of boredom or having my synapses seize. So, instead of wearing a psychological hair shirt and berating my brain… over the years, I’ve decided to embrace my mental idiosyncrasies and find the blessing, yes, the gift, of them all.

My mind is a mosaic. A smorgasbord of color and... thoughts of chocolate. Whatever. I've found a system for focusing on what needs to be done.

Instead of reading one thing for an hour, I read three to five. Instead of working on one project, I keep connected by prioritizing the most important one and weaving in several others simultaneously. Works well when I have big chunks of time. Works fair to middling when I don’t. Regardless, I can multi-task with the best of 'em.... oftentimes... if I've had enough sleep...and my hormones aren't hopping. In the end, I can get a lot done in a short amount of time if I have to. And yep, due to my multi-layered thinking process that carries me down paths far far away... I often have to. Ha.

But all in all, my brain is happiest when it’s not forced to focus on one thing for interminable amounts of time. Okay, I understand that 31 minutes might not be interminable to you – but to me, it can be an eon. Wait a second, I’ve been working on this blog for 29.5 minutes, or is that 39.8? Either way, it’s time to get back to the textbooks… so hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go… Now where are those dwarves?!?

☺